oh my...
Where does the time go?
Three days before Evie's first birthday, and it's finally sinking in. We have succeeded in raising a beautiful, smart, funny little girl for an entire year. This year has taught me so much about myself, my marriage, my family, and most of all, Evie.
I'm learning about balance, and patience, and love. My heart is so full of love for this little girl, I didn't know it was possible. How can you love someone so much and not squeeze the life out of them daily? I'm still trying to figure that out. ;) I find it a struggle every day to be 100% engaged so my goal is setting aside time every day to do just that. Finding the balance between losing myself to Evie's needs and doing what I want (reading, crafts, cooking dinner, etc.) has been a struggle for me. One thing that helps immensely is being involved in our playgroup and getting out of the house. I get to expose Evie to other kids, new experiences, and new environments while having adult conversations as well! Some weeks we spend too much time away from home, and then the next week we try to make up for it by getting back on a schedule. That's another hard balance to find, but we do okay with it. I am really focused on doing more for myself and hoping to find some way to contribute to the family in a way that doesn't involve Evie's needs.
I love seeing Luke as a father. He's so in love with his daughter, and she thinks he is the bees knees as well! They have a completely different dynamic than she does with me, and sometimes I sit back and wonder why. She's more independent with him, and he has more patience when she is whiny, which I envy. They spend almost every weekend morning together, just the two of them, while I catch up on sleep. He's so willing to take care of her in order to give me a break - whether it's a solo trip to the grocery store, a girls night out, a massage, or lunch with my mom, he steps up every time. She does so well with him, especially as she's grown and needs to nurse less. Luke and I are struggling to connect lately, as we each need our break once we put Evie to sleep. We are committed to making more time for each other and getting back to our fun relationship. We also are focused on spending more time as a family of three, without others and doing actual activities on the weekends instead of laying low at home.
And then there's Evie. Our light, our laugh, our love. You, my little one, are such a joy and the answer to every hope and prayer we ever had. You are a clown like your father, cautious like your mother, and affectionate like both of us. You are a mama's girl, but love your time with papa as well. You love people so much! Your Oma and Aunt Nanny are two of your favorites, but you love every member of the family as well. You light up if a stranger looks your way, and you think that other kids are the coolest thing in the world. You are fairly demanding, and you aren't exactly known for your patience, which tests mine daily! You love animals, evidenced by your first word being "dog". Your cautiousness has slowed you down in terms of movement - you didn't crawl until almost 11 months, but you haven't looked back since you started. You stand, but don't pull yourself up, and you won't sit down unless I let you grab my hand before letting go. You will walk if we hold you, but won't cruise around on the furniture, because, hello, that's scary without someone holding you! :) You are completely spoiled by your Mama's family - not just with gifts, although that too - you get undivided attention whenever we see them, which is usually at least once a week. You are so curious little girl! You point to things constantly so we will identify it, and you bring us toys too. You love communicating through sign language - your signs include milk,
more, please, all done, light, ceiling fan, and eat. You use most of
these without prompting or mimicking us when we ask you about these
things. You will go to Papa and sign milk so he will bring you to me to
nurse, or you will sign eat when you are hungry, without me asking. You
are very close to saying more words - I can tell you are telling me
SOMETHING we just haven't been able to decipher it yet! Now that you are crawling, you love to explore and we are seeing your ornery side even more. You smile when we say no, but you handle being redirected fairly well. You KNOW when you are doing something you aren't supposed to, like pulling on a cord, so you aren't surprised when we pull you away! You enjoy tormenting the dog, so we try to give him space and encourage you to play with something other than his toes and ears. I can tell that we are going to have to be creative with discipline, as we are already seeing the beginnings of tantrums.
I can't wait to see what you learn next! I look forward to seeing you become more affectionate, as you are already know how to give hugs and kisses when prompted. You are so silly and love to make others laugh, so I know you will only continue to make everyone who knows you happier. We love you Evelyn Brooke!
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